7 Reasons Why you are Feeling Drained around Certain people

Sometimes we find ourselves feeling drained after being around certain people but we can never pinpoint why. These can be people that are the closest to us like family members and close friends or maybe these people are co-workers that we see on a daily basis. Whoever they are, we know that we don’t feel good being around them. In order to prevent the feeling of always feeling tired and drained, we first need to understand why. If you find yourself asking, why do I feel so drained and tired,” these are the possible reasons why.

When you engage in people pleasing behavior, other people’s needs, wants, and emotions come before your own. This can happen due to the fact that you may have a fear of being rejected or you are looking for other people’s approval. You may find yourself over giving which can lead to burnout and poor mental health. Being a people- pleaser can also lead to resentment towards the people that you are consistently helping. 

You are essentially giving away your energy when you invest so much time giving to other people. Now, I’m not saying you can’t give or help other people but you want to have a balance and just take care of yourself first. 

Boundaries are invisible lines that we draw which teaches other people how to treat us. You ever wonder why some people let others walk all over them while other people are treated with so much respect? 

This is because some people have stronger boundaries than others. When you are always saying “yes” even when you mean “no” you open yourself up to getting walked all over, being taken advantage of, being disrespected, and overall being unhappy. This can be especially true when you have toxic family members when they are used to treating you a certain way for so long. 

What many people don’t realize is that this pattern doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a gradual process where you may eventually find yourself left feeling empty and your peace slowly being destroyed. If this sounds familiar to you, take the self-assessment boundary quiz to determine how strong your boundaries are. 

Energy vampires are people that drain your energy and leave you feeling mentally exhausted after interacting with them. These people are often considered negative or toxic people and they come in all different shapes and sizes. They are people that are not always easy to spot but of course some are easier to spot than others. These people can come in the form of jealous friends, manipulators, narcissists, and people who just eat and breathe drama. They can be a partner in a relationship who is consistently manipulating and controlling you. This could be a sibling that is always asking to borrow money and never returning. Or it could be a toxic friend that is trying to take your man behind your back. 

These people are not people that you want to surround yourself around. In fact, you have to cut off toxic people. There was a study done in 2008 that concluded that being around people who are negative and interact in a negative way, increased the chances of developing depression, anxiety, and stress. 

This goes hand in hand with being around energy vampires but negativity contagion takes it a little further. You can think of negativity contagion as an emotional or mental virus that spreads like the flu. 

When you are around people that frequently have negative thoughts, negative emotions, and engage in negative activities, then you subject yourself to a negative mind as well. Have you ever known someone where bad things are always happening to them or someone who is always blaming everyone else for their problems? I know plenty of people like that and I make sure I stay far away from them. These are the people that are always gossiping, always getting into fights, and just starting stuff for no reason. Clearly, these people have nothing else to do with their time. Don’t let these people infect you with their virus. 

These people have a negative mind and when you have a negative mind, then you will have a negative life.

It can be difficult to be around people who share completely different morals and values than you. For example, if you are around people that lack integrity and honesty, but you yourself self-identify as an honest person, then you may not enjoy the conversations that the other person initiates. You may not enjoy the same activities and hobbies as the other person and eventually you’re going to start questioning yourself as to why you are hanging out with this person to begin with. 

You don’t always have to share the exact morals and values as the people you hang out with, however the ones that are most important to you should be very similar. If not, problems may arise. If the most important morals and values are different, then disrespect can be introduced 

into the relationship or may you find yourself compromising your morals and values to adapt to and behave like the other people, losing one’s self. 

Having past trauma can keep you repeating in the same old cycles over and over again unconsciously. This may cause you to surround yourself with people who don’t always have the best intentions for you. Unresolved trauma can cause you to consistently be around people that trigger you leaving you feeling drained. 

Ensuring that you have a support system, prioritizing self-care, and seeking professional help when needed can help greatly. 

There are a few different types of toxic people. People who are always criticizing and judging others fall into the toxic people category. This is someone that is always trying to make others feel bad or someone that is always placing judgement on others. More than likely this person doesn’t feel good about themselves so trying to hurt others sounds appealing to them..Being around people like this can make you feel bad about yourself or may make you question some of your decisions. Not to mention, these people drain your energy and take your peace.

Feeling drained after being around certain people isn’t a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you need to protect your peace and have stronger boundaries. Understanding the reasons why you feel drained is essential to doing that. 

Disclaimer

“I am not a licensed mental health professional, and the information shared on this blog is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and I am not responsible for any actions taken based on this content.”