Being a mom can be a wonderful experience, but it also comes with its own challenges. As a mom of 3, I can definitely say it’s not easy, especially when you are doing it by yourself. Being a single mom can take a toll on your mental health, and it can feel very overwhelming at times. Not to mention, adding the fact that you have to make money to provide for your kids.
Juggling work, taking care of the kids, keeping food on the table, going to doctors appointments, and attending your kids’ extracurricular activities can be a lot on one person.
Everything is 100% on you most of the time.
Work-life balance is definitely possible as a single mom, but being more intentional about it is ideal. In this post, I want to give you some practical tips to help you manage your work-life balance as a single mom.
1. Balance doesn’t look the Same for Everyone
What does work-life balance look like for you? Do you have to spend a certain number of hours with your kids or your family daily? Is it that you don’t want to talk about work when you get home? Understand what it looks like for you.
Having a work-life balance can look different for different people. Let’s be real, some people love to work and don’t see an issue with working a lot, and others are in their 30s, ready to retire already.
I get it. No judgement here.
But the overall point here is to make sure that there is some type of balance.
As a single mom, balance can look like ensuring that you incorporate self-care routines for yourself or making sure that you are getting enough rest. Or maybe it can look like taking some pressure off of yourself.
2. Set Boundaries on Work
Whether we love our jobs or hate them, there is no doubt that we have to set boundaries on our work. When it’s time to go home, I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to run out of the building. Okay, maybe that was a little dramatic, but enjoying your home life is essential.
Setting boundaries is a must because it protects your energy and your peace, especially if you work in a toxic work environment. It can be easy to answer work calls at the dinner table, check work emails, or talk about that co-worker you don’t like, but do your best to leave that at work. This allows you to draw the line between work and home life without bringing stress home. It also lets your coworkers and supervisors know not to bother you when you are at home.
3. Let Go of Doing Everything Perfectly
As moms, we can set really high expectations for ourselves which can result in feeling guilty or putting too much pressure on ourselves. This pressure can also come from outside influences like family or social media. Having to finish all of the chores in one day, having to make a certain amount of money, balancing school schedules, and all of the other responsibilities that you have can make you feel like everything has to get done perfectly.
Try breaking up chores and spreading them throughout a few days, relieving some pressure on yourself.
Another thing is to try not to expect everything to be perfect. For example, if you typically love your house to be spotless but you have small children running around, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to keep the house looking spotless all the time. Or if your children are old enough, maybe they can help you clean up. Having chores for older children can be very helpful which is one less thing that you have to worry about.
4. Build Small Routines That Support You
This is something that I find very helpful as a mom. Routines help to create stability, and they eventually become second nature. I also find that children (at least my children) respond really well to routines. This can be easier said than done, of course.
I will give you some examples of small routines that can help support you.
- Stretch in the morning
- Meal prep on Sundays or your off days
- Create a weekly planning session: this is where you set a short amount of time a week to plan meals, activities, and any other priorities that you need to take care of.
- Express gratitude
- Mini meditation sessions
- Drinking water first thing in the morning
- Take five minutes to declutter
- Friday movie night with the kids
- Say daily affirmations when you wake up
5. Ask for Help When Needed
There is no doubt that having a support system as a single mom can be incredibly helpful. I have to say this. We all love our kids, but they are a lot of work, and sometimes we just need a break. If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to call a trusted family member or friend to come help you out.
I understand that not everyone lives near their family, and not everyone has a good relationship with their family. In this case, you may have to be more intentional about giving yourself breaks, like having “me” time during your children’s naptime or during their independent play time, or leveraging community resources. Sometimes your local community center has activities like “parents’ night out,” which is another great way to get a break.
Sometimes, just getting even a two-hour break can make a difference. I find that when I have “me” time, I come back more patient and refreshed.
6. You’re not Meant to Carry the Entire Mental Load
As moms, we have a lot on our plates, not to mention being single moms. Mentally and financially supporting our children can sometimes kick us down, but it is so important to take care of ourselves so we can care for our children without being burnt out. We have to take care of our mental health. When I was a single mom, I found peace in speaking with supportive friends and in finding people who could help me when I needed a break.
Whether you like to write down your feelings, see a therapist, or do meditation, taking care of your mental health is essential for maintaining work-life balance.
7. Create Guilt-Free Time Just for You
Take time for yourself. You may have heard this before. Even if it’s for 10 minutes a day. This could be when the kids go to bed or if they go to their grandparents’ or father’s house.
Take the time to be with yourself, and understand what you need to have that balance. I’m not saying you have to take a 5-week vacation on the beach (even though that sounds amazing), but just make a little bit of time for yourself every day.
8. Notice What Drains You
We all have things that drain us. It could be the people that we hang around, our work environments, commitments, a toxic relationship, or it could be habits that we have developed.
Understand what it is that drains you, and do your best to stay away from it.
On the other hand, pay attention to the things that give you joy and the things that make you feel happy. Over time, you will notice how much better you feel. And you will be surprised that the things that make you feel happy are things that you can do for free.
9. Be Honest About Your Capacity
I feel like there’s a lot of pressure for us moms to be everything to everyone. We are always taking care of others, and our needs get pushed to the back burner. This just leads to burnout and being super exhausted.
Ask yourself, how much can I really handle right now? This is the time to really be honest with yourself. Understand that you don’t have to do it all, and if you feel overwhelmed, maybe rescheduling or saying no might be ideal.
Understand how much you can really take on for that day, and don’t push yourself too much.
10. Give Yourself Grace on the Hard Days
Another thing that I want to mention is to give yourself grace and release some of the pressure that you have on yourself. I understand that you have things that have to be done, but really check in with yourself to make sure you mentally have room for more. Being exhausted and burnt out is something we should try to avoid as much as possible.
Conclusion
Being a single mom is not easy, which is why it’s so important to have a good work-life balance. Give yourself grace and take it one day at a time. If you have a support system, leaning on that system could make a big difference. Even if you just start with one thing, it’s a start to making sure your mental health and peace are protected. If you know any other single moms who need some support, send them this post.
Stay well.
