Surviving the Postpartum Emotional Rollercoaster: Simple Tips for Moms

Those who know me know that I am a mom of 3. I have two girls and one boy and not too long ago my son was a newborn. As a mom of multiple children, we know that each child is different, but boy, let me tell you that children are definitely different from one another. My oldest slept through the night when she turned 4 months old, my middle child at 13 months old, and my son who is 2 now sometimes still decides to get up in the middle of the night.

The postpartum period can look different for different mothers. Some mothers bounce back (mentally) very quickly, while with others it takes a little bit more time. Some babies rarely cry while others will have you up all night.

I feel like social media has set a very unrealistic expectation for the postpartum period, making it seem like all sunshine and rainbows. 

In this post, we will discuss the postpartum period and some simple tips to help your postpartum period run more smoothly. Keep in mind that I am not a medical professional, I’m just a mom sharing what worked for me.

Pregnancy can be an emotional journey for some women, but during the postpartum periond, it can be emotional as well. Your hormones are going up and down, your body looks a lot different than before, you are experiencing postpartum bleeding, and not getting enough sleep. Not to mention, there are women who experience the baby blues, postpartum depression, and postpartum anxiety. This can quickly lead to identity shifting. Resentment can happen towards a partner because maybe they get to go out and socialize with other humans. 

Overtime, you can slowly begin to embrace the new version of yourself. You aren’t losing yourself, you are moving into a different chapter of your life, but what does that actually look like? It can look like grieving parts of yourself like old routines or habits that you are used to do. It could look like seeing yourself as more than just a mom and someone who is embracing motherhood. Also, it could look like someone who is becoming stronger and more compassionate. 

Of course, this is going to look different for different women.

Keeping a clean house is a non-negotiable for me. Who wants to live in a dirty house? But after having a baby slowing down is super important. Your body is healing, your hormones are up and down, and you have new responsibilities during these first couple of weeks. Sometimes we have to lower our expectations to get piece of mind and encourage healing. 

Another thing that is helpful is meal prepping before baby is born and placing those meals in the freezer. I remember the last thing that I wanted to do was cook after I had a baby. Cooking can be an enjoyable experience for many, but after having a baby, slowing down and resting was necessary for healing. On top of that, it make the postpartum period so much easier.

Now, I understand not everyone is able to meal prep before they have the baby. Maybe you don’t have enough time or you had to work, but if you have some support like a mother or grandmother, asking for help is ideal. When I first had my middle and last child, my mother in law would come over and cook for me and it was such a big help.

People used to tell me this a lot, “ sleep when the baby sleeps.” I remember being so annoyed with people because I’m like if I sleep, then who is going to watch my one year old while I sleep. 

This is where the support system comes in. When you have people that can help you, let them. I know sometimes we don’t like accepting help or we don’t want anyone in our house, but trust me, accept as much help as you can get. When the baby sleeps, maybe you can take a quick power nap or when company comes over, you can ask them to watch your other kids (if you have them) while you sleep. 

Talk about your feelings when you get a chance. I understand, being in the house with a baby who can’t communicate can be rough. I would encourage you to talk to a friend that’s had a baby before or a trusted family member. Sometimes just being heard can do the trick. 

Another option is joining a mom group. I personally have never been to one, but my sister has and she said that it helped with her mental health a lot after she had baby number 2. It can be a great option to share your experiences and bounce tips and tricks off of each other. 

If you have this option, talk to your partner about how you are feeling. Express exactly what you need. For me, I told my husband that I need at least 2 hours to myself every week. Of course, some women may need more than that. I find that that helped so much for me. Even if it was going to the store, getting my eyebrows done, or engaging in a self-care routine, I made sure that I had that time to myself. 

If these options are not available to you, consider writing down your feelings. Journaling is a great tool to help build self awareness and control your emotions. I love journaling because all you need is a pen and paper and you can start writing down how you feel and process how you feel. 

Here are some journal prompts you can use:

• What moment made me feel overwhelmed this week?
• What is something I haven’t said out loud yet?
• In what ways have I changed since becoming a mom?
• What parts of my old self do I miss?
• What does “being a good mom” mean to me — not social media?
• Who do I feel safe being honest with?
• What kind of support do I actually need right now?
• What does my body need right now?

Getting fresh air feels so good. I noticed that all of my kids loved being in a stroller for walks when they were babies. Who doesn’t like being outside, given that the weather is nice of course. 

Society puts a lot of pressure on us moms, especially right after having a baby. The pressure to lose the “baby weight” quickly, being the perfect mom, not formula feeding, or having to do it all even when you’re tired. Try to let go of these expectations. Understand that your body just created a human being and you need time to figure everything out, especially when you are a first time mom. 

Try to redefine what a good mom looks like for you. I would also be mindful of being on social media because it can be easy to compare yourself to other moms. 

I mentioned some things earlier like journaling and talking to a friend, but I remember if I could get a shower before my husband got home, then that was a success for me. Little things like this made a huge difference.

I also found other hobbies that I can do in the house like completing puzzles and reading a book. Doing these things may seem pretty small, but they make a huge difference when you in the house all day with a newborn. 

For me, each postpartum experience was a little different and what I noticed was that I did not love every moment of it. Some days I just wanted to sleep, and other days I was ready to give up on breastfeeding completely. 

I also wish that someone would have told me that your relationship will change. Each couple is different and their problems are unique to their specific situation. But you probably won’t have as much one on one time any more, there may be changes in intimacy, and the roles and responsibilities may shift as well. Whatever it looks like, effectively communicating your needs to your partner can go a long way. 

If you feel that you are sad, have panic attacks, constant hopelessness, etc, please seek professional help. You know yourself and even if you don’t have any of these, don’t be afraid to reach out and get professional help if you feel that you need it. 

There are also organizations that can help support you and some focus on maternal and infant health. I havae linked those organizations below:  

• Postpartum Support International
• March of Dimes

If you are reading this, understand that you are not alone. You are not failing as a mom, you are not broken, you are moving into a different version of yourself. Motherhood is a learning experience and we all learn as we go.