5 Simple Ways Burnt-Out Single Moms Can Start Feeling Happy Again Today

A recent study performed by the Journal of Family Studies, concluded that single mothers are more likely to experience significantly higher cumulative stress compared to partnered mothers. They are more likely to feel exhausted and overstimulated because they are doing mostly everything by themselves. 

Single moms may feel all types of emotions like pressure and guilt. 

I remember. I used to feel this way all the time when I was a single mom. This lead to depression and I was just overall, not happy. 

In this blog post, I will share with you some simple and practical ways to feel happy again as a single mom even if you are experiencing burnout. 

Everyone’s story is different and the reasoning behind how you became a single mother can vary from person to person. Some women become single mothers because they escaped  toxic relationships, some just got out of a marriage, the partner may have left them during pregnancy, substance abuse, you name it. No matter what situation it is, it can leave the mother stressed and not much time for herself.

It is no secret that single mothers can carry alot of responsibility, especially when the father is not actively involved in their child’s life. Or if the father is involved and you co-parent with a toxic ex, this can bring even more stress.

This can put a lot of emotional, mental, and financial load on the mother. Under these circumstances, is it possible to feel happy again as a single mother? 

Absolutely! 

Feeling happy doesn’t necessarily mean that you are happy ALL of the time. I get it, we are all human and we experience many emotions. Nothing will be perfect all of the time. What I mean by this is generally being a happy person like feeling like yourself again and feeling at peace. Also, enjoying your life and being grounded with yourself, regardless of how other people make you feel.

 Am I saying you need to fix everything? Of course, not. 

Sometimes, we have to relax our expectations just a little bit. I find this to be especially true when you are a single mom working long hours. I get it. I love having a clean house and dinner already made, but sometimes you have to change the plans a little. 

When I was a single mom, what helped me was making two meals at a time on a Saturday or Sunday so that we could have leftovers the following week. Of course, I had to freeze some of it so it wouldn’t go bad, but doing this would allow me to come home and relax and have enough quality time to spend with my daughter. I have also heard of other moms getting up just a little early to put some food in the crockpot and it will be ready by the time you get home. 

At one point, I found a maid off of facebook and she didnt charge much at all to clean the house for me once every two weeks. I also found that preventive cleaning helped so much and if you have children who are older, they can help out as well. 

Getting a moment to yourself as a mom, is not easy. Ask me how I know, lol. Whatever self-care looks like for you in those 10 minutes do it. This can be when the kids have independent play time, during their naptimes, or at night before they go to sleep. 

One thing that I love to do when I have a moment to myself is to take a warm bath and turn on some meditation music; talk about relaxing. I love it. I know there are some moms that love to drink some coffee or tea. Getting 10 minutes to yourself can make a huge difference.

You don’t have to change up your whole routine, but changing just something small can make a huge difference. For example, if you feel like you’re overwhelmed and have a little on your mind, then maybe journaling before bed while the kids are sleep can make a big difference. Journaling has a lot of benefits and can help process emotions. 

Creating one small daily routine can help build stability and emotional grounding. It could be something that you look forward to after a long day of work and spending time with the kids. 

Also, it could be something simple too like making the kids lunch and breaskfast before going to bed as opposed to making it in the morning. This one routine has saved me so much stress in the mornings. 

I know as a single mother a lot of the responsibility is on you. If you have help don’t be afrad to ask for help from trust family members and friends. Just getting a break for a couple of hours or for a weekend can help you reset. I understand that not everyone may have the support of family and friends; however, there are options out there like childcare swapping. 

I know as a mother, sometimes we can feel guilt about allowing someone else to watch our children for a little while, but for me I felt like I always came back a better mother because I had more patience. 

When you are overwhelmed and living in survival mode, it can be easy to talk down to yourself. Try to be aware of negative self-talk and try to talk to and about yourself in a positive way. I get it. This can sometimes be easier said than done. Just small changes in how you speak to yourself can make it a difference. 

Here are some phrases that may help:

• Instead of “I’m failing my kids, “ reframe to “I’m doing my best in a tough situation, and my kids are loved and cared for.”
• Instead of “I can’t do this on my own,” reframe to “Doing this alone is hard, but I’ve handled a lot already—and I can ask for help when I need it.”
• Instead of,  “Other moms have it together, why can’t I,” reframe to “I’m comparing my behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. My situation is different.”
• Instead of “I’m always exhausted and behind,” reframe to “I’ve been stretched thin lately. Maybe I need to adjust expectations or get more support.”

There are so many single mothers our here who feel the same way. Reaching out to trusted family and friends may be super helpful for you and just having someone to vent and talk to. If you feel like you don’t have that there are support groups available. 

Being a single mother is not easy and can have you living in survival mode really quickly. Take it one day at a time and one routine at a time. Try to get as much help as you can. You got this!

Have you tried any of these tips? If so, were they helpful for you?